September 22,
We began the meeting welcoming Lisa who is interested in becoming a member of the Guild. She is a fiction writer who has a completed manuscript and several other in the works.
William announced that the change to our Articles of Incorporation, Article 2, has been modified to read “Mutual Benefit.”
We also had a moment to congratulate Kate on two levels. First: her story, “Shroud of a Suburban Gnome,” is out in print in; Beyond Centauri July 2008, 6th Anniversary Issue. Second: Kate will be missing the next meeting or two as she joins other roller hockey members in representing the United States of America, in Japan at the World Roller Hockey Championships. Way to go Kate!
The first reader for the evening was Ken with a series of shorts. Each section of the work was taken as part of a journey. Most of the members felt the collection needed some fine tuning, that the paragraphs of each event could be expanded to provide a better connection to the reader. The last section caused the most discussion as it differed from the previous three and was structurally different from an observation to include dialogue from the characters. One of the questions proposed to Ken asked if he wanted to be included in the events. In the first three he was the observer. In the last short he was not included, just a narrator.
Glenn followed with his non-fiction presentation, The Irish Harp, which he will be presenting to the Celtic Society soon. Everyone enjoyed the historical background of the harp and what part it played in various stages of Irish culture. The description needed to be improved by explaining the purposes of the components of the harp (harmonic curve, sound board, tuning key) not just pointing them out in a picture. Overall the group felt positive about the presentation and that the addition of music (Glenn playing the harp) would keep the audience interested.
Lisa was the third reader for the evening with a short called “Alien Soliloquy” which she recently entered in a writing competition. The story was intriguing to the members although it seemed compacted due to the word count restrictions of the competition. The dialogue rang true to the characters and the narrative kept the reader involved. The group felt that there were timeline issues that needed to be addressed and that it should be expanded into a longer short story.
Ed was the final reader for the evening with a different approach to why Tyke was sent to the sea with his uncle. The scene was filled with images causing the reader to smile, laugh, and embrace the characters. There was a section which most members felt that Ed may have over-written, falling into a “Tell then Show” moment which seemed awkward. This rough draft will likely be re-written several more times before it is added to the rest of his much anticipated manuscript.
October 6,
Unfortunately I missed this meeting as I visited my Grand Niece but thankfully, Jean facilitated and Glenn picked up the key. Here are the meeting notes from Jean. There were only five people at the last meeting, but there were two readings. Bill Barrett read a revised version of chapters 24 and 25 of Operation Kamiakin, and they were critiqued; Shirley Leggett read a poem called "Tsunami Withdrawal" which dealt with grief extremely well. The meeting began at 7 pm and adjourned at 8:45 pm.
October 20,
Nine members and one guest, Todd, attended the meeting. Todd is writing a sci-fi novella and interested in joining the Guild.
After brief introductions the read/critique portion of the meeting began with Ed. Ed offered chapter 4 from his novel: The Adventures of Midshipman Tyke. The well written chapter was well received as it displayed Ed’s complete control of scene and dialogue. Once again he deftly handled a room full of characters leading the reader with wit and drama. With few comments on content everyone looks forward to the completion of this novel so they can add it to their collection.
Shirley followed with the opening to a children’s story that piqued the curiosity of members. Although some of the sentences were considered too long for the age group the story pulled the reader in with timely foreshadowing that left you wondering, who is G. Bear and what is he building?” We look for more of “G. Bear’s Project” in coming meetings.
Our guest, Todd, shared a portion of his novella, “Lower Than Vegan Slaves How Bad Could It Be?” Bill, read for Todd and found the structure a little difficult to manage aloud; with the sound effects that were sprinkled throughout the beginning. The dialogue was interesting although the narrative needed to ground the reader in the setting a little more. Parts of it were explained instead of shown which could easily be corrected. Overall the members felt the style was unique and the story showed great promise.
Our final reader for the evening was Bill with more from his novel: Operation Kamiakin. Bill continues to demonstrate great command of structure and the members felt that this piece was well written. Most agreed that he still needs to inject drama into each scene for this action novel to hold the reader’s attention. Portions of the chapter could have been tightened by eliminating the telling of a previously described portion of the scene. Everyone agreed that his writing is improving as he works on his re-write.
November 3,
The meeting on the eve of Election Day was well attended as three members offered portions of work for comment.
Leading off was Lisa with a rewrite of her micro-fiction, “Alien Soliloquy.” The timeline issues of the first draft were improved and the story flowed with few hitches. There were still some questions on cause and effect situations but all could be easily corrected with a glance here or a sound there. Overall members enjoyed her short and look forward to reviewing the final draft in the coming meetings.
Todd followed with a new story about a covert operation during the Vietnam War. The story offered good drama and interesting characters. Some of Todd’s sentence structure was too long for the action to flow quickly but the story shows promise as intrigue is steadily built over the first chapter. Members look forward to discovering what the operation is and why it is important in the coming weeks.
Shirley capped the evening’s read with the final portion of her children’s story, “G. Bear’s Project.” This curiosity based story brings science and nature together in a way that pulls the reader in, until the final reveal. Few changes are needed to make this story ready for submission. Perhaps a couple of longer sentences could be shortened or a couple of duplicate words could be removed but all the members enjoyed the journey that leads to the discovery of “G. Bear’s Project.” Well done!
November 17,
Eight members attended the last meeting in November. It was great to see Kate who has been back for nearly a month from participating in the roller hockey championships in Japan. The team placed 4th, which was higher than they expected for their first appearance on the international stage. In route to their 4th place finish they defeated the defending champions, Chile, which Kate described as one of the high points of the competition. See the team picture on our home page.
The readings for the evening began with Bill and more from Operation Kamiakin. The action portion of the chapter was well constructed providing a vivid description of the battle in the skies over Boise. The portion leading up to the scene had weak characters, high ranking military officers who allowed the protagonist to push them around with an arrogant attitude that dragged down the beginning of the chapter.
Todd read more from his story about a secret mission during the Vietnam War. The members felt that the characters are strong but the events come too quickly to allow the reader time to develop an emotional contact with anyone. This well described, action packed story needs to slow down a little and spread some of the back story out instead of throwing everything at the reader which created confusion for most. Sometimes you can have too much description and action which takes away from the substance of the story. Everyone agreed that Todd should spend more time developing the main characters and filter in the supporting cast. Finding a balance in pace is essential in an action drama.
Lisa was the final reader for the evening with her re-write of, "Alien Soliloquy." This re-write flowed from the beginning with definite adjustments in structure and situation development. Everyone felt the changes made, improved the story and strengthened the plot. When edits are made and the story is tight the members become picky, in a good sense, searching out the passive verb or weak modifier. Quality writing Lisa; well done.